Reflections on Brene Brown's Power of Vulnerability: Why We Struggle

          Brene's lecture on "'How To' Doesn't Work" opens with her sharing, "If 'HOW TO' worked none of us would be struggling." In today's world with immediate access to information at the swipe of a finger, learning how to do it yourself has become a phenomena. But even with open access to all this information, why is the world not yet perfect? Why do we still have obesity, depression, illness, unhealthy habits, bad credit, and all the other problems we should be able to fix because we have "How To" articles and Youtube videos? Personally, "How To" doesn't work all the time for me. However, it is a good resource when I feel as though I'm lacking in something. Ultimately following these "how to" instructions are not effective if an individual cannot understand why the problem exist in the first place. I can't recall at the moment where I heard this from, but this struck a chord with me instantly upon hearing it, "when you don't know why, you are powerless."

"We live in a culture today where somehow this idea that if we're not doing extraordinary, huge, public things, that we are not enough."

        The feeling of inadequacy often discourages me; not having enough, not being enough, not giving enough, ... enough, enough, enough! Why do I feel that I what I have and what I am is not enough; where does this come from?

"…we live in a culture of deep scarcity defined by this: Never enough."

        Living in a world where materialistic things symbolize social status and wealth, no wonder we struggle, because nothing will ever be enough. Envy and competition will increase the demand for individuals to be better than the other. What is better will than set standards defined by the winner ... and even then, those standards of perfection will be gone like the next trend because nothing is never enough. 

       And so it makes me wonder, what are we living for? Why do we struggle with (fill in the blank)? What’s feeding this deep scarcity? If I have the bare necessities to be alive, why is it not just enough to exist? Because we are human. We are a species that long for connection and value. We are a people that need meaningful and purposeful relationships.

Reflection on Brene Brown's The Power of Vulnerability

Recently I've been guided to listen to this series of lectures by Brene Brown, who is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She also is an author and public speaker. She has spent the last few years researching the topic "Shame" and has come across a common pattern ... The Power of Vulnerability.

As I go through this series, I want to use this blog to personally share some key points from the lectures. My hope is that as I share my personal reflections that it would be a resource and guide for others to seek out self-care in replenishing the soul, spirit, mind and body.  As I am taking the time to do that I hope the in-pouring of my own well-being can be an out-pouring of blessings. I am indebted to those who have taken time and resources to invest in my growth and development to be whole.

Brene Brown's series introduction begins with this:

"Today we live in a culture of scarcity a culture of 'never enough.' This scarcity culture of 'never enough' teaches us that we can never have enough success, money, beauty, or power to be safe. The greatest casualties of scarcity culture are our willingness to own our vulnerabilities and our ability to engage with the world from a place of worthiness."

I don't know about you but being vulnerable sounds like a weak thing to do. In fact, because of many negative situations in my life, TRUST does not come easily for me. You see, to trust is to be vulnerable, be open to anything, to allow good and bad to lift you or hurt you. And that was the kind of risk I didn't like to take. For me, when big events happen in my life, whether traumatic and chaotic, I've learned to suppress my emotions and carry-on. I've learned to smile with a heartache. I tell myself, "Don't let the 'enemy' see where you are bleeding, because that's where he'll strike for the kill." Not knowing who I could trust, I did my best to keep the depths of my inner wounds in a locked secured place so that no one can find it. Because if the world knew where I was hurting most, they would take it and sell it to the highest bidder or spread it around like cancer ... yes my fear is that the world would not know how to treat my vulnerabilities to good health but rather kill me with it. Wounds of that magnitude will only decay over time and a heart that once loved effortlessly will become callused. I know this from my own personal experience and sadly through the testimonies of others.

So why do we try so hard to conceal our own vulnerabilities when we already live in a world that is hurting and dying? Why can't we just own our vulnerabilities and be liberated by it? When we are broken why do we pretend that we are whole? I'll tell you this, for me, there was no corner small enough where I could feel safe enough to be vulnerable. Not even the places where I have sought refuge felt safe enough to be broken. This place of worthiness, where does it exist for broken people?

I am still broken, very broken. Where one piece of me becomes whole, another remains broken or partially filled. And although I am made up of broken pieces, my worthiness comes from a place where I am reminded I am unconditionally and dearly loved ... that place is at the cross where Jesus Christ paid it all.

You can check out Brene Brown here:
http://go.ted.com/bvJ3

Up Next: Reflections on The Power of Vulnerability: Why We Struggle