"One word describing my year is a four-letter word starting with the letter F."

I’m celebrating 30 years of life today.

As the New Year arrived and as this day was approaching, I couldn’t help but reflect on my year in 2014. So much has happened in so little time. And as time waits for no one, my emotions are left like an orphan. The world will go on while I deal with piercing wounds, uncertainty, life-decisions that will dictate the course of everything I do, responsibilities, transitions, and all the things that can feel overwhelming.

One word describing my year is a four-letter word starting with the letter F. 

I have lost many things that I held dear. I have endured many kinds of words that have challenged me. But in the midst of trials, I found enlightenment, humility, grace, understanding, people I can truly call friends, and most importantly renewed strength. It was a year of burn out and burning down; a year of being in the line of fire, on fire, under fire, in the fire … … 2014 was a year of FIRE.

Fire is known for burning things down, destroying, and leaving not a trace of what was once there. But fire is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it is a good thing. Prescribed fire is used for various things such as land modification and making steel. 

As fire is used to mold and reshape things, I'm reminded of the refining process:

"In order to refine the bloom iron into a usable form, the iron needed to be repeatedly re-heated at welding temperature, between 2200 and 2700 degrees F depending of the carbon content, and repeatedly hammered or worked. This welding/forging/welding process reduced or “burned off” the excess carbon in the atmosphere of the forge and essentially “forced out” the other impurities through hammering, bending, and pressing. This made the metal free enough of impurities to make it workable.” (barbariankeep.com)

So where does that leave me now? It’s a new year, I’m getting older … but not aging (thanks Mom & Dad!), and time is counting down, death is inevitable. I’m still in the hammering, bending, and pressing process. Being an independent person since a very young age, I have done many things in my own strength and find it very challenging to ask for help. I have also become accustom to suppressing emotions that I don’t allow myself to feel. After all, who has time to feel when the world is not waiting for you to wipe your tears? You learn to be head strong … heart strong … you learn to be so strong that you weaken the very essence of your existence …

… God. 

“My God is so great, so strong and so mighty there’s nothing my God cannot do,” remember that Sunday school song we were taught when we were little itty bitty kids? It’s so very basic that even my 3 year old can comprehend. So why as an adult, is it so hard to believe that sometimes? We forget. We get distracted. We lose line of sight. We are discouraged. We depend on our own capabilities rather than the power of God. SO that means I have to get back to the basics of obedience through submission.

Moving forward, what is there in store for 2015? 
Renewed Hope. Renewed Joy. Renewed Strength. Renewed Peace. Renewed Spirit. Renewed Faith.

2014 Highlights:
- returning to school. completed my first semester with a 3.75 GPA
- encountered encouragement and healing in unexpected places & people
- working with SRO Housing Corporation for 30th Year Gala (Jan.22) You're Invited!
- surviving 6 months +HandsforAfrica 
- Sean Robert eating brownies:

Words of Encouragement:
"the key is learning to be content with yourself"
"this is not man's army, this is God's army"
"you just have to take it one day at a time"

On Going Projects: 
- learning HTML & CSS via +Codecademy 
- learning video production via iMovie & Final Pro Cut
- seeking avenues to improve database management for non-profit sectors
- 33 more units until Marketing-Management Degree is completed